How to Build Rapport & Relationships with Patients

Building Rapport and Relationships with Plastic Surgery Patients

Building rapport and strong relationships with patients is not only essential for their satisfaction but also critical for the overall success of a plastic surgery practice. Patients who trust and connect with their patient coordinator, surgeon, and support team are more likely to proceed with procedures, adhere to post-operative care instructions, and recommend the practice to others. 

This article explores a variety of techniques and strategies to foster trust, connection, and satisfaction, leveraging principles from psychology, communication, and marketing.

• Why Rapport Matters: Patients in plastic surgery often feel vulnerable, making trust and empathy key components of their decision-making process.
• Benefits of Rapport: Enhanced patient satisfaction, increased referrals, positive reviews, and higher retention rates.

Core Principles for Rapport Building

1. Dale Carnegie’s Principles (from the Book – How to Win Friends and Influence People)

• Show genuine interest in the patient.
• Smile and create a welcoming environment.
• Use their name often; it’s the sweetest sound to them.
• Be a good listener; encourage them to talk about themselves.
• Talk in terms of their interests (appearance goals, concerns, life events).
• Make them feel important and valued.

Using Dale Carnegie’s methods:

• “I’d love to hear more about your goals – what’s most important to you?”
• Action: Smile and use their name multiple times during the conversation.
• Example: A patient shares their concerns about their appearance after weight loss. Respond with, “It’s incredible that you’ve taken such strides for your health. You’re doing something really admirable, and I’m excited to help you reach the next step.”

2. The FORD Method (Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams)

• Family: Ask about their family or support system.
• Occupation: Discuss their work life, how it relates to their goals.
• Recreation: Learn about their hobbies and interests.
• Dreams: Explore their personal aspirations and how surgery fits into them.

Using the FORD Method

• Phrases:
  • Family: “Do you have anyone supporting you through this process?”
  • Occupation: “Does your job require a lot of social interaction? That might shape how we approach recovery timing.”
  • Recreation: “What do you enjoy doing in your free time?”
  • Dreams: “What’s your ultimate goal for this procedure?”
• Actions:
  • Use answers to personalize recommendations.
  • Mention commonalities to build a bond.
• Example:
  • Scenario: Patient mentions they’re a teacher.
  • Response: “Teaching must keep you on your feet all day. Let’s ensure your recovery plan aligns with your schedule”

Techniques for Building Rapid Rapport and Trust

Building Connection and Finding Common Bonds

1. Find Shared Interests
   • Identify mutual interests or values (health, wellness, beauty).
   • Relate to their lifestyle and cultural background.
2. Use Empathy and Understanding
   • Acknowledge their emotions and concerns (fear, excitement, hope).
   • Example: “I understand this is a big decision, and I’m here to support you.”
3. Mirroring and Matching techniques
   • Match their tone, energy, and communication style.
   • Adjust pace and language to align with their comfort.

Phrases and Examples of Using Connection and Common Bonds

• Phrases:
  • “I love hiking! What’s your favorite trail?”
  • “That’s so interesting – I’ve heard wonderful things about that destination.”
• Actions:
  • Listen actively for shared hobbies, interests, or experiences.
  • Mention similarities or express genuine curiosity about their life.
• Example:
  • Scenario: Patient mentions traveling to Bali.
  • Response: “I’ve always wanted to visit Bali! what’s your favourite part?”

Asking More Effective Questions

1. Open-Ended Questions
   • Encourage them to share more about themselves and their goals.
   • Example: “What inspired you to consider this procedure?”
2. Exploratory Questions
   • Dive deeper into their motivations and expectations.
   • Example: “How do you hope this procedure will impact your life?”
3. Clarifying Questions
   • Ensure you fully understand their concerns.
   • Example: “Can you tell me more about what you’re hoping to achieve?”

Phrases and Examples of Asking Effective Questions

• Phrases:
  • Open-Ended: “What inspired you to consider this procedure?”
  • Exploratory: “What changes would make you feel the happiest?”
  • Clarifying: “Can you tell me more about what you mean by ‘natural results’?”
• Actions:
  • Listen attentively, allowing patients to finish without interruption.
  • Use follow-up questions to dive deeper.
• Example:
  • Scenario: Patient mentions wanting to look “refreshed.”
• Response: “When you say ‘refreshed,’ do you mean reducing wrinkles or adding volume to your features?”

Consistency Builds Trust

• Keep your messaging consistent across all touchpoints.
• Ensure all team members are aligned on patient care and say the same things

Phrases and Examples for Consistency

• Phrases:
  • “As I mentioned before, you can expect X results based on your goals.”
  • “Here’s the timeline we discussed for your recovery.”
• Actions:
  • Keep messaging consistent across all touchpoints (consultation, post-op visits, follow-ups).
  • Ensure all team members are aligned on patient care.
• Example:
  • Scenario: A patient worries about their recovery timeline.
  • Response: “We’re on track with the plan we set. If anything changes, I’ll let you know right away.”

Establishing Trust

1. Transparency
   • Be honest about outcomes, risks, and costs.
   • Example: “This procedure has some risks, but here’s how we minimize them.”
2. Consistency
   • Follow through on promises, maintain professional standards.
   • Example: Deliver clear post-op instructions and check in during recovery.
3. Expertise
   • Highlight your qualifications subtly (certifications, experience).
   • Example: “I’ve performed this procedure for over 10 years with great success.”

Phrases and Examples of Using Transparency about Risks

• Phrases:
  • “Here are the realistic outcomes we can expect from this procedure.”
  • “It’s important to know about these potential risks and how we manage them.”
• Actions:
  • Use straightforward language without jargon.
  • Provide patient resources, like brochures or videos, for further reading.
• Example:
  • Scenario: Patient asks about risks.
  • Response: “Every procedure has risks, but we’ll take every precaution to ensure your safety. For instance, we’ll monitor you closely during recovery.”

Phrases and Examples for Establishing Patient Trust

• Phrases:
  • “We’ve performed this procedure over 200 times, and our surgeon stays updated with the latest techniques.”
  • “Your safety is our top priority.”
• Actions:
  • Mention credentials subtly during consultations.
  • Share success stories from similar cases (with permission).
• Example:
  • Scenario: Patient hesitates to proceed with surgery.
  • Response: “I understand your hesitation. I’ve helped with many patients who felt the same way initially, and they were thrilled with their results. Would it help to see some of their before-and-after photos?”

Other Ways to Build Rapport and Relationships

1. Nonverbal Communication

• Eye Contact: Maintain appropriate, warm eye contact to show attentiveness.
• Body Language:
  • Lean slightly forward to indicate interest.
  • Keep open and relaxed posture to avoid appearing rushed or defensive.
• Tone of Voice: Use a calm, reassuring tone, especially when discussing sensitive topics.

Example Action: During consultations, avoid sitting behind a desk. Sit side-by-side or slightly angled to foster collaboration.

2. Expressing Empathy

• Acknowledge their emotions and validate their feelings.
• Offer reassurance without being dismissive.

Useful Phrases:

• “I understand this is a significant decision, and it’s normal to have questions.”
• “It’s completely okay to feel nervous—many patients feel the same way before surgery.”
• “Your concerns are valid, and I’ll do everything I can to address them.”

3. Positive Framing

• Highlight the benefits without overstating outcomes.
• Use optimistic yet realistic language.

Useful Phrases:

• “This procedure has helped many patients achieve their goals, and I believe it can help you too.”
• “I’ll guide you through every step so you feel confident and informed.”

Example Action: Share a success story about a patient with similar goals to inspire confidence.

4. Showing Appreciation

• Thank patients for choosing your practice and trusting you.
• Acknowledge their time and effort.

Useful Phrases:

• “I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts with me.”
• “Thank you for trusting us with something so important.”

Example Action: Send a handwritten thank-you note post-surgery or a follow-up call to check on their recovery.

5. Offering Choices & Options to Empower Patients

• Give patients a sense of control by offering options.
• Ensure they feel their preferences are respected.

Useful Phrases:

• “We can explore a few different approaches based on your goals.”
• “Which of these options feels most aligned with what you’re looking for?”

Example Action: Present different implant sizes or show 3D imaging for visualizing results.

6. Using Humor (When Appropriate)

• Light, situational humor can ease tension and build connection.

Useful Phrases:

• “Don’t worry, I’ve done this more times than I can count – you’re in good hands.”
• “The hardest part is deciding which Netflix series to binge during recovery!”

Example Action: If a patient expresses a common concern, offer a light-hearted anecdote about how others overcame it.

7. Following Up

• Post-consultation follow-ups show you care beyond the office visit.

Example Action:

• Call or send a message after their consultation: “I wanted to check if you had any additional questions after our meeting.”
• For post-surgery, call within 24 hours: “Just checking to see how you’re feeling and if there’s anything we can do for you.”

8. Encouraging Feedback

• Actively seek patient input to improve their experience.
• Let them feel heard and valued.

Useful Phrases:

• “How are you feeling about everything so far?”
• “Is there anything we could do to make this process easier for you?”

Example Action: Provide a quick feedback form post-visit with questions about their experience.

Customizing Your Approach Based on Patient Goals

Patients Seeking a Confidence Boost

• Focus on emotional benefits: “Imagine how you’ll feel seeing the results you’ve dreamed of.”

Patients Looking for Functionality

• Emphasize practicality: “This will help improve both your appearance and your comfort.”

Patients  Unsure of Their Decision

• Provide reassurance: “There’s no pressure to decide today. Take your time to think it over.”

Enhancing the Overall Patient Experience

1. Warm Welcome

• Train staff to greet patients by name and offer a warm smile.
• Offer beverages or other small comforts in the waiting room.

2. Personalized Touch

• Mention details from previous visits to show you remember them.
• Example: “You mentioned last time you’re planning a beach vacation. Are you still excited about that?”

3. Celebrating Milestones

• Celebrate with them when they reach key stages (e.g., final follow-up).
• Example: “Your results look fantastic – it’s been a pleasure being part of your journey.”

Tailoring Approaches to Different Patient Types

1. First-Time Patients
   • Provide detailed information, answer all questions patiently.
   • Offer reassurance and examples of similar cases.
2. Returning Patients
   • Build on previous rapport; recall personal details.
   • Discuss their progress and new goals.
3. High-Anxiety Patients
   • Use calming techniques, avoid overwhelming details.
   • Provide additional support (nurse follow-ups, counseling).
4. Informed/Research-Driven Patients
   • Validate their research, discuss advanced techniques.
   • Address misconceptions politely and professionally.

Phrases and Examples for different patient types: 

For First-Time Patients

• “I’m here to guide you through this step-by-step so you feel confident.”
• “What’s most important to you as you consider this procedure?”
• “What inspired you to take this step now?”

For Patients Returning for Another Procedure

• “How have you been feeling about the results from your last procedure?”
• “What can we do to make your experience even better this time?”
• “Since you had great results with your last surgery, I think you’ll be very pleased with how this one complements it.”

For Anxious Patients

• “What’s the biggest concern on your mind today?”
• “Would you like me to explain the process again step-by-step?”

Leveraging Technology

1. Use CRM Systems to save information
   • Record patient preferences, history, and follow-up notes.
   • Personalize communication for each visit.
2. Offer Virtual Consultations
   • Use video calls to connect with patients pre-op and post-op.
   • Maintain warmth and professionalism even remotely.

Advanced Rapport & Relationship Building Techniques

People are different. You can use simple classification systems like DISC and VAK to adjust your approach and match their style.

Learn DISC Personality Types and Adapt Your Approach

• D: Dominance (Direct, Results-Oriented)
  • Approach: Be concise, focus on outcomes, avoid small talk.
  • Example: “This procedure will give you the sharp, defined look you’re seeking.”
• I: Influence (Outgoing, Social)
  • Approach: Be enthusiastic, share success stories, engage them emotionally.
  • Example: “Many of our patients love how this procedure has boosted their confidence!”
• S: Steadiness (Patient, Loyal)
  • Approach: Be warm, take time to build trust, offer reassurance.
  • Example: “We’ll take everything step-by-step to ensure you feel comfortable.”
• C: Conscientiousness (Detail-Oriented, Logical)
  • Approach: Provide detailed explanations, emphasize precision and safety.
  • Example: “This is a proven technique with high success rates. Let me walk you through it.”

Using DISC Personality types

• Phrases:
  • D-Type: “Here’s the bottom line: this procedure will give you the sharp, defined results you want.”
  • I-Type: “Many patients are thrilled with how this procedure changes their lives.”
  • S-Type: “Let’s take this step-by-step so you feel comfortable throughout the process.”
  • C-Type: “Here’s a detailed explanation of how the procedure works, supported by data.”
• Actions:
  • Adjust your tone and focus based on DISC type.
  • Provide visuals for C-types, emotional stories for I-types, and reassurance for S-types.
• Example:
  • Scenario: C-Type patient asks about risks.
  • Response: “We’ve performed this procedure 100+ times with a complication rate of less than 1%. Here’s the data if you’d like to review it.”

Discover & Use their VAK Communication Styles (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic)

• Visual Learners
  • Use diagrams, before-and-after photos, videos.
  • Example: “Here’s an example of the results you can expect.”
• Auditory Learners
  • Explain verbally, encourage questions, and confirm understanding.
  • Example: “Let me describe how the procedure works in detail.”
• Kinesthetic Learners
  • Offer hands-on experiences (e.g., feeling implant materials), describe sensations.
  • Example: “You’ll feel minimal discomfort, and here’s how we manage recovery.”

Phrases and Examples for VAK Styles:

• Phrases:
  • Visual: “This diagram shows the process step-by-step.”
  • Auditory: “Let me explain exactly how the surgery will go.”
  • Kinesthetic: “Feel these implant materials to see what works best for you.”
• Actions:
  • Ask early: “Do you prefer visuals, explanations, or hands-on examples?”
  • Adapt presentation: Use models, charts, or verbal descriptions.
• Example:
  • Scenario: Visual learner inquiring about rhinoplasty.
  • Response: “Let me show you before-and-after photos from similar cases.”

FAQs for Building Rapport and Relationships with Patients

FAQs about the  Psychology of Connection

Q: Why do patients decide to trust one surgeon over another?
Because trust is emotional, not logical. Patients often decide based on how they feel in the first five minutes — warmth, empathy, and attentiveness outweigh credentials in the early stages.

Q: What’s the most common rapport mistake made in consultations?
Talking too much. Many coordinators over-explain or “sell” instead of listening. The most powerful connection builder is silence — letting patients share their story.

Q: Can rapport be “faked”?
No. Patients are highly attuned to tone and micro-expressions. Genuine warmth and empathy can’t be scripted — but they can be trained through awareness and practice.

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FAQs about  Practical Communication Techniques

Q: How can a busy surgeon build rapport quickly in under 3 minutes?
Start with the patient’s name, use open body language, and acknowledge one personal detail from their intake form. Even a short “I saw you love tennis — that’s awesome” creates instant familiarity.

Q: What words should be avoided when speaking to nervous patients?
Avoid words like “cut,” “knife,” or “risk.” Instead, use softer, descriptive language — “refine,” “adjust,” “precision,” “care.” Tone and vocabulary strongly influence emotional comfort.

Q: How can coordinators build trust over the phone?
Smile while speaking, use the patient’s name, and mirror their pace. Verbal warmth translates even without facial cues. Follow up promptly — consistency equals credibility.

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FAQ about Nonverbal Influence and Energy

Q: What does your body language say during a consultation?
Crossed arms, rushed movements, or checking your watch signal disinterest. Lean slightly forward, nod, and keep your posture open to show engagement.

Q: Why does tone of voice matter more than the words used?
Because emotion travels through tone. Patients may forget the details of your explanation but will remember how you made them feel.

Q: How can a clinic environment help build rapport?
Design matters. Comfortable lighting, calm décor, and personalised touches (like a welcome sign with the patient’s name) can make them feel seen before a word is spoken.

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FAQs about Emotional Intelligence in Practice

Q: How do you handle a patient who doesn’t seem to like you?
Stay curious, not defensive. Ask neutral, open-ended questions to uncover concerns. Often it’s fear or past experiences, not personal dislike.

Q: What’s the difference between empathy and sympathy in patient care?
Empathy says “I understand how you feel.” Sympathy says “I feel sorry for you.”
Empathy builds trust; sympathy can create distance.

Q: How can humour help in consultations?
Light, situational humour breaks tension. But always “punch up,” not down — laugh with patients, not at situations. Never use humour to deflect anxiety or minimize concerns.

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FAQs about Personalisation and Memory

Q: How do you make a returning patient feel remembered?
Reference something from their last visit — “How’s your daughter’s graduation prep going?” It signals genuine care, not transactional service.

Q: What if you forget a patient’s personal detail?
Admit it gracefully — “Remind me, where did you go on that trip again?” Authenticity beats pretending to remember.

Q: Why should every team member read patient notes before appointments?
Because rapport is cumulative. When everyone remembers small details, the practice feels unified and caring — not robotic.

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 FAQs about Difficult or Emotional Situations

Q: How do you maintain rapport when delivering bad news?
Stay calm, compassionate, and transparent. Pause often and check for understanding. Patients don’t remember what you said, but they always remember how you said it.

Q: What should you do when a patient becomes emotional?
Acknowledge, don’t rush. “It’s okay — take your time.” Silence is powerful. Avoid immediately jumping to problem-solving until emotions settle.

Q: Can rapport survive a complaint or poor review?
Yes — if it’s handled with humility and empathy. A genuine apology and quick response can rebuild trust faster than defensiveness.

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FAQs about Advanced Rapport Concepts

Q: What’s the role of personality profiling (DISC) in patient communication?
It helps tailor your approach — fast facts for “D” types, emotional stories for “I” types, reassurance for “S” types, and data for “C” types. Matching style improves comfort and compliance.

Q: How can technology enhance rapport instead of replacing it?
Use CRM notes, automated follow-ups, and personalised video messages. The goal isn’t automation — it’s amplified human connection.

Q: What’s the secret to lifelong patient relationships?
Stay curious. Patients evolve — their goals, fears, and motivations change. Continually rediscover who they are and what matters most to them.

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FAQs about Reflective & Team-Based Rapport

Q: How can internal team rapport affect patient rapport?
Patients feel tension. If the team isn’t aligned or there’s conflict behind the scenes, it leaks through tone and body language. Internal harmony equals external trust.

Q: Why should coordinators debrief after patient consultations?
Reviewing what worked and what didn’t helps refine language, empathy, and follow-up systems. Rapport isn’t static — it’s a skill that improves with feedback.

Q: What daily habit strengthens rapport skills across the team?
Start every morning with one positive story about a patient win. It reinforces gratitude, emotional awareness, and team alignment around care.

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Taking Action & Implementing

• Building rapport is an ongoing process that requires active listening, empathy, and adaptability.
• By leveraging techniques like Dale Carnegie’s principles, DISC, VAK, and the FORD method, patient coordinators can create lasting relationships.
• A strong rapport translates to increased patient satisfaction and loyalty.

Further SPE Reading

• How to Be a Better Listener in a Plastic Surgery Practice
• How to Use Behavioural Profiling to Understand People – DISC Profiling
• Consultative Sales Skills for a Plastic Surgery Practice
• Simple Sales Skills for Front Desk Staff Handling Enquiries
• Advanced Sales Skills for Patient Coordinators